Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Dodgy Post
Today I got a parcel from my longest-serving friend, but I fear that it didn't reach me in the same condition that it left her:
I love it!
"Found" opened....like it was just lieing around! Maybe a mouse opened it? Or the invisible man? Or perhaps a theif broke into the post room and had time to open all the parcels before deciding which ones to steal...probably sipping a lovely mug of tea as he did so...
Anyway, I am now the proud owner of a
a) a wide variety of chocolate bars (apparently it's really an Easter Egg, but with more chocolate, and less comedy chickens)
b) some magazines (very exciting in Doha)
c) some HOT gossip...although as the parcel was lieing around open for a while, the gossip is now rather tepid
and
d) YET MORE TEA! Still, it keeps the Monkey happy.
If there was anything else in the parcel when it left England, I'm afraid it didn't make it. Let's just hope it went to a good home.
I love it!
"Found" opened....like it was just lieing around! Maybe a mouse opened it? Or the invisible man? Or perhaps a theif broke into the post room and had time to open all the parcels before deciding which ones to steal...probably sipping a lovely mug of tea as he did so...
Anyway, I am now the proud owner of a
a) a wide variety of chocolate bars (apparently it's really an Easter Egg, but with more chocolate, and less comedy chickens)
b) some magazines (very exciting in Doha)
c) some HOT gossip...although as the parcel was lieing around open for a while, the gossip is now rather tepid
and
d) YET MORE TEA! Still, it keeps the Monkey happy.
If there was anything else in the parcel when it left England, I'm afraid it didn't make it. Let's just hope it went to a good home.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Driving Test
This week we have a quick quiz to see if you’re ready to drive in Qatar:
1) You’ve just bought a brand new car (a Toyota Landcruiser obviously). How long do you wait before taking off the plastic wrappers on the seats?
a) Just until you get home, and even that seems like forever.
b) A week, just to show that it’s new for a while
c) A month
d) Why take them off? You love sitting on plastic.
2) The traffic lights turn green, but the car infront doesn’t seem to have noticed. How long do you wait until you toot him?
a) Five minutes or so, you don’t want to seem rude
b) A minute
c) 30 seconds
d) 1 nanosecond and make sure they hear it.
3) There’s a queue at the crossroads. What do you do?
a) Wait patently, you’ll move eventually
b) Start swearing
c) Use your horn
d) Go off-road in your 4x4, up the curb, and cut in again at the last minute.
4) You’re going to meet your friend. Where is the best place to decide to meet?
a) At his house
b) At your house
c) At a café
d) On the inside lane of a roundabout.
5) Approaching the roundabout the road divides into 3 lanes. If you want to turn left, which lane should you be in?
(CLUE: In Qatar we drive on the right-handside)
a) The left lane
b) The middle lane
c) The right lane
d) Any lane you like, as long as you cut up as many people as possible.
6) A big crater has just appeared in the road. How much warning do you think you’ll be given?
a) 300 meters
b) 50 meters
c) 10 meters
d) Warning’s for girls: Put the cone in the hole.
That's it. Time's up, put your pens down. Now let's see how you did:
1) d. Only us foreigners take the plastic seat covers off.
2) d. Infact if you’re really good you’ll beep BEFORE they go green. (I’ve even seen police cars do this.)
3) a...only joking, d again.
4) d. I have no idea why this is the meeting place of choice.
5) d. ..although ‘c’ is my personal favourite.
6) The outside lane is often closed off with no warning at all, and no lights, just suddenly a bollard in the road, but I had to laugh when there was just the top of a traffic cone sticking out a hole in the road.
1) You’ve just bought a brand new car (a Toyota Landcruiser obviously). How long do you wait before taking off the plastic wrappers on the seats?
a) Just until you get home, and even that seems like forever.
b) A week, just to show that it’s new for a while
c) A month
d) Why take them off? You love sitting on plastic.
2) The traffic lights turn green, but the car infront doesn’t seem to have noticed. How long do you wait until you toot him?
a) Five minutes or so, you don’t want to seem rude
b) A minute
c) 30 seconds
d) 1 nanosecond and make sure they hear it.
3) There’s a queue at the crossroads. What do you do?
a) Wait patently, you’ll move eventually
b) Start swearing
c) Use your horn
d) Go off-road in your 4x4, up the curb, and cut in again at the last minute.
4) You’re going to meet your friend. Where is the best place to decide to meet?
a) At his house
b) At your house
c) At a café
d) On the inside lane of a roundabout.
5) Approaching the roundabout the road divides into 3 lanes. If you want to turn left, which lane should you be in?
(CLUE: In Qatar we drive on the right-handside)
a) The left lane
b) The middle lane
c) The right lane
d) Any lane you like, as long as you cut up as many people as possible.
6) A big crater has just appeared in the road. How much warning do you think you’ll be given?
a) 300 meters
b) 50 meters
c) 10 meters
d) Warning’s for girls: Put the cone in the hole.
That's it. Time's up, put your pens down. Now let's see how you did:
1) d. Only us foreigners take the plastic seat covers off.
2) d. Infact if you’re really good you’ll beep BEFORE they go green. (I’ve even seen police cars do this.)
3) a...only joking, d again.
4) d. I have no idea why this is the meeting place of choice.
5) d. ..although ‘c’ is my personal favourite.
6) The outside lane is often closed off with no warning at all, and no lights, just suddenly a bollard in the road, but I had to laugh when there was just the top of a traffic cone sticking out a hole in the road.
Monday, April 16, 2007
An introduction to wakeboarding
Last week I got a text from my mate Sarah asking if I'd like to go wakeboarding. I'd never even heard of wakeboarding, but I'll try anything once, so I texted back, "Yeah, I should think so."
The text came back, "Booked the boat for 2pm."
BOAT?! Uh-oh, what had I agreed to?
Turns out wakeboarding is like water skiing, in a snowboarding-is-like-skiing kind of way. I have no sense of balance, and the fitness level of a watermelon, but if you think that's going to put me off, you're very much mistaken. So yesterday, there I was being pulled along by a boat...and you'll be impressed to know that not all of the time was I faced down in the water...
At first I wasn't on the board long and it was quite hard to catch a picture of me.
...but after a fashion I manged to get up...and stay up!
By the end of the day I was doing jumps and flips and all sorts
Ok ok, that's clearly not me - I could barely stand up for heaven's sake! I decided to leave the jumping till next time, as no one likes a show off.
The only downside of my crazy day of sporting fun, is today's absolute agony. Every single one of my muscles hurt, particularly my arms (as you might expect) but also my arse. Think I might have been doing something rather wrong.
The text came back, "Booked the boat for 2pm."
BOAT?! Uh-oh, what had I agreed to?
Turns out wakeboarding is like water skiing, in a snowboarding-is-like-skiing kind of way. I have no sense of balance, and the fitness level of a watermelon, but if you think that's going to put me off, you're very much mistaken. So yesterday, there I was being pulled along by a boat...and you'll be impressed to know that not all of the time was I faced down in the water...
At first I wasn't on the board long and it was quite hard to catch a picture of me.
...but after a fashion I manged to get up...and stay up!
By the end of the day I was doing jumps and flips and all sorts
Ok ok, that's clearly not me - I could barely stand up for heaven's sake! I decided to leave the jumping till next time, as no one likes a show off.
The only downside of my crazy day of sporting fun, is today's absolute agony. Every single one of my muscles hurt, particularly my arms (as you might expect) but also my arse. Think I might have been doing something rather wrong.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Exploring the desert
Last weekend I finally took part in a bit of desert bashing. I guess this is something I should have done when I first arrived in Qatar, but i never quite got round to it. For those of you who don't live in a giant sand pit and haven't heard of desert bashing, let me explain: Desert bashing is where you hire a driver to scare the bejeebas out of you. The sand dunes are very steep, but apparently that's all the better for a Landcruiser.
Driving along in the sand (all good so far):
The cars infront disappear over the edge of a dune (never a good sign)
The cars infront are a long long way dawn (Definitely not a good sign)
The little dot here is some bloke trying to scale the sandcastle we just drove down:
It was absolutely fantastic! After being thrown around in the 4x4 for a while, we were taken to a camp where some camels lived with their keepers. Some of them were allowed to roam free and just returned for food and water...
...and from the look of this ones face, I don't think he liked me very much!!
Driving along in the sand (all good so far):
The cars infront disappear over the edge of a dune (never a good sign)
The cars infront are a long long way dawn (Definitely not a good sign)
The little dot here is some bloke trying to scale the sandcastle we just drove down:
It was absolutely fantastic! After being thrown around in the 4x4 for a while, we were taken to a camp where some camels lived with their keepers. Some of them were allowed to roam free and just returned for food and water...
...and from the look of this ones face, I don't think he liked me very much!!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
We're all going on a summer holiday...
The astute amongst you may have noticed that I’ve not been at work for a week or so, that’s because I sneaked off for a cheeky holiday in the Seychelles.
It sounds very extravagant, but you have to remember that from Doha to the Seychelles is only 4 hours or so by plane. So me going to the Seychelles, is a bit like someone from the UK going to Tenerife.
The Seychelles are beautiful: there’s HILLS! And it’s GREEN! I’d not seen a hill for 6 months...or a tree. Ok that bit’s not quite true, but I hadn’t seen this much greenery. My friends and I rented this little house for the week:
And this was our beach:
As you can see, I did indeed sample the local brew, and it wasn’t too bad at all.
We also took a little trip to Bird Island
...which was a pile of sh*t.
No...literally, there was sh*t everywhere. The cabins were airy things, with open eaves and the birds could just come in: poo on the floor, poo on the sofas and poo on the BED! Still, it was a beautiful island
...and it was very cute when of the chicks hatched right next to our cabin:
As well as birds, there were lots of fish and baby sharks to swim with, and we also met Esmeralda the Giant Tortoise
The poor thing…250 years old, and all that time he’s had a girl’s name.
